Life for Dummies - Chapter 1 Part 2

Life for Dummies
Stumpy & Panda's Manual for Life

Chapter 1: Appropriate Attire (Part 2)

Business Attire

Business attire is typically split into two categories, business formal and business casual.  Business formal is generally reserved for those working closely with high level executives, law offices, public relations, things of that nature.  Business casual can be very diverse, depending on the environment, and can range from a well tailored pair of trouser jeans to dress slacks and a nice blouse.  This section will discuss the entire spectrum of appropriate business attire.

To begin, we will list the things that are absolutely prohibited in the work place, and when we say work place, we mean any office or retail work place, most of our rules do not apply to the occupations within the sex industry, including strippers, prostitutes, or porn stars.

The following items are never appropriate business attire:

¨           Ribbed Tank Tops

¨           Metallic Shoes

¨           Clear Shoes (this includes shoes with a clear heel)

¨           Shoes with Rhinestones

¨           Dresses found in or near the bathing suit section at Target

¨           Boob shirts one would wear to a dance club on Saturday nights

¨           Halter Tops

¨           Tube Tops

¨           Anything from Hot Topic, Wet Seal, Charlotte Russe, or Forever 21 (unless you work at one of these stores)

¨           Prom Dresses or any other formal wear

¨           Cocktail Dresses

¨           Suits (or most anything) found in the Juniors department at JC Penny

¨           Jumpers or Rompers

¨           Jean Jackets

¨           Jean Dresses

¨           Torn or ripped clothing, even if it is considered “designer tears”, it is still not appropriate (if you own these sort of items, throw them away or get them repaired, it is fucking inexcusable to wear them)

¨           Leggings or Jeggings of any kind

¨           Shorts

¨           Mini Skirts (any skirt that does not pass the finger tip test, meaning if your skirt does not pass your fingertips when your arms are resting at your sides, it is too fucking short – throw it away)

¨           Pajamas of any kind, especially pajama jeans

¨           Overalls

¨           Sweats, even black ones that you feel could “totally pass for dress pants”

¨           Hooded sweaters or sweatshirts

¨           Most anything that requires a draw string to keep on

¨           Most shirts or sweaters with a zipper

¨           Any item of clothing that requires a safety pin to keep your tits from being exposed

¨           Pants that are so long that you stapled them up (just fucking hem them)

¨           Maxi dresses

¨           See through clothing of any kind

¨           Wet hair (blow dryers are easy to use and relatively cheap – buy one)

General rules for all business attire

¨           Your clothes should always fit.  If we can see the outline of your cheesy ass cheeks through your pants, your pants are too fucking tight.  If you have a massive muffin top falling over your waist band, your pants are too fucking tight; adding a pretty shirt in attempts to cover your muffin top does not make you a cute cupcake, buy new fucking pants.  If your pants do not reach the top of your shoe, your pants are too fucking short.  If you have to staple or pin your pants to keep them from dragging on the ground, your pants are too fucking long.  If your blouse rides up as you walk and exposes your stomach, your blouse is too fucking small.  If you bend over and your blouse rides up exposing your back and your pants ride down exposing your ass crack, all your clothes are too fucking small.  If your button down blouse gapes in the middle and your bra and boobs are put on display, your shirt is too fucking small.  If you are unsure what the appropriate amount of coverage is, make sure you are covered from your chest to your knees and you’ll most likely be covered appropriately.

¨           Your bra straps and underwear should never be exposed in the work place.  Buy lower rise panties and a sweater to cover them up if you need to.

¨           Brown and black don’t fucking match.  Neither do brown and grey.  Don’t even try it.  Keep this in mind when pairing shoes with an ensemble.

¨           Your boobs should not spill out of the cups of your bras.  If they do, buy a bigger fucking bra.  There is no shame in a larger bra size, but there is shame in looking like a fucking retard that doesn’t know what bra size she should wear.

¨           If you are a make up wearing person, business make up is typically conservative.  You can have fun with your make up but if you look at all similar to a tranny-hooker, you’ve gone too far, tone it the fuck down.

Business formal

¨           Business formal wear should almost always be a suit.  It could be a skirt suit, pant suit or a dress with matching jacket. 

¨           Suits should typically not be mix and match, for example a grey suit should not be mixed with a black one, etc, so don’t try to mix things up by pairing black slacks with a grey suit jacket, it doesn’t fucking work. 

¨           Business formal does not include capri pants of any kind or a suit with short sleeves.  Formal business suits should have full length pants and sleeves every fucking time.

¨           Depending on the environment, pantyhose may be a requirement of business formal.  Again, as with formal wear, the only truly acceptable colors of pantyhose are black and nude.  There are situations where a patterned tight might be acceptable as well, but that is dependent on your work environment.  Keep in mind, when we say patterned tight, we don’t mean fucking argyle or something equally atrocious, we mean a small fishnet, or lace pattern.  These should typically be accompanied by a somewhat conservative skirt or dress, try not to take it too far. 

¨           We don’t give a shit how hot your office gets or how oppressive the humidity is outside, it is never acceptable to wear a see through blouse with a jacket, thinking the jacket will cover what it needs to. 

Business Casual

¨           Business casual can range from nice jeans to dress slacks.  It does not mean throwing on a faded or torn pair of jeans, a zip up hoodie, and sandals.  You still need to look presentable.  You never know when you’ll be called into the boss’s office for something.  Don’t assume you won’t see anyone important on any given day. 

¨           If business casual in your office means you can wear jeans, your jeans should be clean and unwrinkled.  They should never be torn anywhere, this includes no torn ratty hemline.  When wearing jeans, they must be paired with an appropriate top and foot wear.

¨           Appropriate tops include most blouses with a collar, or knit tops/sweaters.  Most tops with zippers are not appropriate, if the zipper is hidden in a seam or classically decorative (not motorcycle jacket style), it is probably acceptable.  T-shirts are not acceptable either, if you can wear it to the fucking gym, don’t wear it to work.

¨           If jeans are not permitted in your work place, business casual typically means a pair of dress slacks or docker type pants.  The same rules applicable to jeans should be observed with all other pants; pants should not be ratty looking and should be paired with an appropriate top and shoes.

¨           Cargo pants are not acceptable business casual attire. 

¨           Graphic Tees are not acceptable business casual attire.

¨           We understand when it is cold out, many like to wear hats or beanies to stay warm.  This is acceptable, as long as you remove the hat or beanie prior to beginning your work day.  This means you must comb your fucking hair and style it in some way that does not look like you just woke up, pulled clothes on and left.

Casual

Some of you may be surprised to learn there are rules that apply to casual attire.  If you spend any time outside of your house during your leisure hours, you should be dressing according to these rules.

¨           If you own clothing that looks like it belongs to one of those crazy people you’d see in those mass emails “The People of Walmart”, it is not acceptable clothing, ever.

¨           If you are larger than a size 8, spandex is not allowed on your body, ever.

¨           Fanny packs are not an acceptable replacement for a purse or wallet.

¨           Scrunchies should not be worn as it is not 1987.

¨           Clothes with words on the ass are not acceptable if you are over the age of 18.

¨           Socks should never be paired with sandals of any kind.  This includes Birkenstocks and those god-awful Teva sandals.

¨           You must always wear a bra when out of your home, even if you have small tits.  No one wants to see you running around with droopy boobs because your too fucking lazy to wear a bra, and when we say bra we don’t mean those that come built in to a tank top either, we mean a real fucking bra. 

¨           Even though it is casual dress, you clothes should still fit and should not expose those body parts that most consider “private”.

¨           Pajamas may only be worn out of your house in extreme circumstances, such as a deathly illness that requires a trip to the pharmacy or extreme hangovers from drinking multiple bottles of wine or 5 Long Island Ice Teas the night before.  In these situations you should avoid, if at all possible, pajamas with cartoon characters, or other childhood insignia.  Just in case you were wondering a bra is also required in these cases no matter your physical condition.

Preparation is vital...

My sister and I stopped at the store on our way home from work today to buy vital supplies in the event that this whole "Hurricane Irene" thing is as awful as people say it will be. 


Hurricane Irene Survival Kit

We Can Take a Hint...

In response to the attached link, my sister and I would like to tell planet earth that we've received the message.  Unfortunately, we do not own a self sustaining space craft that will allow us to leave planet earth for even a short period of time.  So our response is, sorry planet earth, message received, but we do not have the financial or intellectual resources to leave...so we're gonna have to stay, do what you will with us.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/planet-earth-doesnt-know-how-to-make-it-any-cleare,20639/

Life for Dummies Chapter 1 Part 1

Life for Dummies

Stumpy and Panda’s Manual for Life

Preface

In our combined years of experience, my sister and I have seen all manner of epic life fails.  We’ve decided this blog is a perfect opportunity to provide people with some guidance on how to be less of a fucking idiot.  We will go into all manner of survival skills that we hope will help you when making those critical life decisions like “should I post something on my Facebook page about my baby shitting in the bath tub” (the answer to which is fuck no).  There may be items in this manual that some would take offense to, however we don’t want this to be taken as horribly cruel or offensive in any way.  All we want to do is attempt to make the world a better place for us to live in (by us I mean my sister and me).  We don’t want to see dumb girls with their asses hanging out of their shorts.  We don’t want to hear about your fucking babies shitting or laughing or living.  We don’t want to feel sorry for your terrible case of the fucking Monday’s.  We just want to live and only think of ourselves as much as possible.  We feel this manual will help us to do that, and if it improves the world around us for others, that is a bonus.  We hope you enjoy the wisdom provided in this manual and that it brings great peace and happiness to all your lives. 

We will be publishing Life for Fucking Dummies: Stumpy and Panda’s Manual for Life chapter by chapter as it is quite lengthy and we don’t want your eyes to get too tired reading it, as it is all extremely vital information that you should read very carefully.  If you feel we’ve missed something in a particular section, please feel free to comment letting us know your thoughts. However, don’t expect us to update the manual with your inconsequential dribble, because it is unlikely that we’ll agree with you.  Happy reading…

Chapter 1: Appropriate Attire for Ladies

Section I: Formal Attire

We realize getting all dressed up in pretty gowns and fancy hairdos is fun for most ladies; however, formal attire is to be worn rarely.  In fact the only appropriate occasion to wear formal wear is when you receive an invitation of any kind that states “Black Tie”. 

¨           Formal wear does not mean you should run out and buy or repurpose an old prom dress.  A dress that would be worn by an 18 year old to a prom is not an appropriate dress for an adult, ever.  By adult, we mean someone not in high school.

¨           Should the gown you choose be a strapless gown or a halter top or have out of the ordinary straps of any kind, one should never resort to clear bra straps.  Clear bra straps are never appropriate, regardless of age or size.  The appropriate under garments must be included in your budget when purchasing a gown.  Appropriate undergarments also include spanks or something similar.  If the dress you select requires some sort of girdle contraption, it is not ok to “just not care” and wear it without one.  If you don’t want to wear spanks, pick a different fucking dress.   

¨           Displaying a bit of cleavage is acceptable.  Please remember the following rule carefully however; if you have to tape your fucking tits to keep them in the dress, it is probably not acceptable formal wear.  You should be able to wear standard undergarments and stay in your dress without fear of having a Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl moment.  This isn’t funny or cute; it is inappropriate and fucking ridiculous.

¨           While we strongly recommend steering away from a formal pant suit, if you are uncomfortable in a gown, a pant suit may be considered. Please keep the following tip in mind when searching for your fancy pant suit: if your grandmother (or any grandmother for that matter) would wear it, you probably shouldn’t (no offense to any grandmothers reading the blog – you may wear your fancy pant suits with pride and we are sure you all look stunning). 

¨           Looks from past decades should mostly be avoided as well.  Of course we would accept a couture vintage gown, however, if it has shoulder pads or an over abundance of ruffles you should probably just donate it to the nearest homeless person. 

¨           Short dresses aren’t typically considered formal wear, but there are the occasional exceptions.  If you are one that prefers short dresses, please be sure to find one that fits.  By fits, we mean one that passes the “bendover” test.  What we mean is, if you bend over and your pubic hair and/or butt cheeks are put on display, your dress is too fucking short.  A dress of this nature is not fit to be worn, not even by a homeless person, so my advice would be to try and get it down your garbage disposal, but any method of destroying the dress that makes it impossible for you to consider wearing it would be sufficient.

¨           A formal gown should never be made of jersey material.  It should never be see through.  It should not be made primarily of velvet, especially crushed velvet; however some decorative velvet touches might be ok.  Most dresses with sequins are also not acceptable.

¨           Shoes are a critical piece of any formal ensemble.  The shoes may be closed toed, peep toe, or strappy.  Strappy does not mean shoes that flip or flop.  Any shoes with laces are strictly forbidden, as well as boots of any kind. Please also avoid shoes that look like you might have worn them in 1998 to your high school graduation.  Shoes with cork bottoms are typically not considered formal.  Gladiator sandals are also not appropriate, as we do not live in Rome in the year 42 B.C.E.  No matter what you think of yourself, you are not a fucking gladiator.  Your name is not Spartacus.  You do not jump into a ring and fight to the death while cheering fans scream your name and decide whether you deserve to live or die. 

¨           When considering shoes, one should also consider whether they would like to wear pantyhose.  Open toed shoes should never be worn with pantyhose, ever.  This is an atrocity akin to water boarding and should be avoided.  Today, pantyhose are not really a staple of a ladies wardrobe, and they don’t have to be.  As they are fucking uncomfortable, this should make many women happy.  In fact, despite the fact that Kate Middleton appears to be attempting to bring them back, panty hose are old fashioned and not necessary unless you live in a palace and eat dinner with a queen.  If you insist on wearing them, please be sure to choose an appropriate color, which pretty much only includes nude or black.  White pantyhose are fucking ugly and they look ridiculous, if you have any, throw them away.  Navy and grey nylons are slightly more acceptable, but we encourage you to stick with nude and black when you are able.  Keep in mind when we say nude, we don’t mean literally the color nude, we mean the color that most looks like your nude skin, in some cases that could be a beige or caramel color.  This color should be personalized for each individual. 

Section II: Semi-Formal or Cocktail Attire

Semi-formal or cocktail attire can be very versatile.  It may be worn for fancy dinners, dates, and most weddings.  Almost all the rules that applied to formal wear are relevant for semi-formal attire. 

¨           It is still unacceptable to choose a dress a teenager might wear to a prom.

¨           It is still unacceptable to wear a dress that does not pass the “bendover” test. 

¨           It is still unacceptable to wear pantyhose with open toed shoes or pantyhose of the wrong color.  In fact, for semi-formal, we recommend skipping pantyhose altogether unless it is a necessity.

¨           Semi-formal dresses may be made of more casual material than a formal dress; however, if you select a dress made of jersey or some other less formal looking material, it should be properly lined and paired with great shoes and accessories to dress it up appropriately.  This does not mean you can wear that bathing suit cover “that is such a great color on you” with a set of pearls and heels and call it done.  If you can wear it to the pool, or the grocery store, or while working at a fucking car wash, it is not appropriate for anything but those tasks. 

¨           If you have to ask your girl friends “does this dress make me look slutty”, it is probably unacceptable.

¨           If your outfit looks like something you would find on the show “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”, it is probably unacceptable.

¨           If you’ve worn the dress before and been propositioned by a sleazy guy looking for a hooker, it is probably unacceptable.

This is only part of our first chapter. We will post sections on business attire as well as casual attire.  Posting all this information at once would have been too much for the average person to process so it is better if we post sections at sporadic intervals so people have time to digest the information before being inundated with more!

Our Loving Father

Along with my sister and me, our family consists of an older brother, an older sister, one mother and one father.  We also have a menagerie of household pets but that is information best left for another post.  Our other siblings and our parents have each had their share of strange, awkward, humorous and painful encounters, some of which we have all experienced together and some which belong to them alone.  We are going to go ahead and share their stories as well, because why not, they’re funny!

We’ll begin with our father.

Our father manages to get himself into some pretty tight spots on occasion.  In fact just recently he made an almost successful attempt at sinking our family boat.  Mind you, this boat is probably the biggest piece of shit boat you’ve ever seen and might be better off if it were to sink.  My mother likes to call it our “starter boat”, as it is the first water craft of any kind my family has ever owned.  My dad has been waiting for years to buy himself a boat.  He just LOVES to make big purchases, boats, cars, houses, ridiculous timeshares that are pretty much worthless.  I can’t count the number of times my dad came home with some outrageous and busted up old vehicle that was to be our new family car!  Anyway, you get the picture.  Last year my parents purchased what they promised would be their very last home.  It is a great little house just minutes from a lake where we have our very own boat slip.  My dad, feeling a great need to fill that slip went in search of that dream boat he always wanted.  What he ended up with fell somewhat short of all our expectations, but it was a boat and it would do…for now. 

This past 4^th of July, my entire family went out to the lake house together.  We were all looking forward to a weekend on the lake with our less than fancy family boat.  The first day at the lake we hooked the boat up, drove it down to the lake, and launched it into the water.  Keep in mind, we are still new to boating and boat launching is a serious skill that my father has only partially mastered.  However, he managed to back the truck in, unlatch the boat, and get it off the trailer with little problem.  My mom and sister jumped into the truck and drove it back up to the house.  My big sister and I waited on the dock for my mom my sister to return while my dad was getting things settled in the boat.  We were all chatting casually when all of a sudden my big sister noticed the back of the boat was slowing filling up with water!  My big sister motioned to the back of the boat and said:  “uh…dad…the boat is taking on water…”  Dad quickly turned around and became extremely agitated.  Turning back to us he yelled: “GO TELL YOUR MOTHER TO BRING THAT FUCKING TRAILER BACK”.  My big sister, highly sensitive to embarrassing moments, did not miss her opportunity to get the hell out of there.  She abruptly turned around and started walking out of the boat launch area towards home.  I stood there becoming more and more alarmed, watching as the boat continued to fill up with water.  We were actually going to sink our piece of shit boat right there in front of the boat launch.  My dad looked at me and asked me to find something to help bail the water out of the boat.  I thought to myself: “where the fuck am I going to find something to bail water out of a boat”.  I looked in my mother’s “boat crap” bag and found a water bottle filled with crystal light.  I grabbed it, dumped it, and handed it to my dad.  Remembering back, I realize how comical it was watching him try to bail gallons of water out of the boat with a tiny water bottle. 

A few minutes later another family climbed down the dock and jumped into their beautiful pontoon boat and began driving away.  As they passed us they asked if we were ok, my dad responded (in an uncharacteristically calm voice): “uh, it seems we’re taking on water”.  The family asked if there was anything they could do to help to which my dad replied “no, my wife is coming back with the trailer any minute”.  Hearing that, the other family drove off in their very pretty boat.  My dad continued his attempts to bail the water out of the boat with the tiny water bottle when all of a sudden something occurred to him.  He turned to me and said “Give me that fucking bag”.  I turned, grabbed my mom’s “boat crap” bag and handed it to him.  He started voicing some incoherent curses directed towards my mother and pulled something out of the bag.  He looked at me and said: “Your fucking mother forgot to put the damn plugs in the boat”.  I thought to myself, “plugs…what plugs.  I don’t think it was mom who forgot”.  He heaved himself over the side of the boat into the water, went under and managed to get the plugs in.  Just as he was hauling himself back into the boat, the family with the pretty boat comes back saying they couldn't leave us to sink.  They drove up to the dock; parked their boat and the dad of the family jumped out with a bucket in hand.  He got into our P.O.S. boat and began helping bail the water out.  By this time, my mother and sisters had made it back to the boat launch with the trailer in tow.  My mother began attempting to back the trailer onto the boat launch.  After about 6 attempts the dad from the other family jumped out and replaced my mother at the wheel of the truck.  He, with all of his years of boating experience,  backed the trailer right up with no problem.  They got the boat onto the trailer and drove it out of the water.  All the rest of the water still in the boat began to drain out in waves.   After a few minutes of fidgeting at the back of the boat my dad and the other dad determined that our boat, while still a piece of shit, was sound.  The other family jumped into their boat and drove away. 

Standing there we all began to realize the humor in what just happened, and started the inevitable jokes and laughter that typically follows one of my dad’s theatrical meltdowns.  We decide, what the hell, let’s put the boat back in, with the plugs this time.  We re-launched the boat, more successfully, and drove off, albeit slowly.  The funniest part of this whole story is that even though my parents have a slip all to themselves to park our boat in, they are too afraid to leave the boat in the water unattended, as it may sink.  We always thought this was a completely ridiculous fear…until the day dad forgot to put the plugs in and the boat almost did sink. 

Lepraware wolf

"How much diet coke did you have today?" - panda

"Just one cup" -  stumpy

"How big of a cup?" -  panda

"A regular size cup" - stumpy

"Was it an average size person cup or a leprechaun size cup?" -  panda

"I don't know.  I can go back to corner bakery and ask" -  stumpy

"I don't think they have leprechaun size cups" - stumpy

"They are leprechasist" - panda

"I think you are like a leprechaun wolf" - panda

"A leprechaun ware wolf" - panda

"A lepraware wolf" - stumpy

"ya, like a wolf just mini, because you are a leprechaun." - panda

"thats cool.  mini wolf's are awesome" - stumpy

"they are like cats" - stumpy

"they can climb trees and hide easy" - stumpy 

"they can climb fences" - stumpy 

"they probably even bury their poop" - stumpy

"the poop that Rocket eats in the dog yard is probably your wolf poop" - panda 

" I don't think I pooped in the dog yard" - stumpy  

"you just don't remember" - panda

"i don't remember my adventures as a wolf" - stumpy

"it is probably better that way" - stumpy 

"why would Rocket eat my wolf poop" - stumpy

"maybe he thinks if he eats your wolf poop he'll get your powers" - panda

"Rocket has his own powers" - stumpy

"remember, he got them from merlindog" - stumpy

My Sister & Me

This is our life.  These are our encounters, be they strange, awkward, humorous and sometimes painful.  We’ll begin by introducing ourselves.   We are sisters, at times best friends, and sometimes worst enemies.  Born 16 months apart we were often mistaken for twins as children, however we could not look more different today.  We’ve shared almost everything since birth including our living space.  We know everything about each other and it seems at times we know too much.  There are moments when we finish each other’s sentences or think the same absurd thought; this phenomenon is likely caused by the enormous amount of time we spend together.  We are my sister and me.

Panda	Stumpy
Younger Taller Thinner Blonder Prettier Poorer Less loud Less mean Smarter Shyer Bitchy Wise ass Cynical Sometimes Bitter Opinionated Sarcastic Slightly Sociopathic Drunker	Older Shorter Fatter Darker Harrier Richer Louder Weirder Spunkier Stubborn Meaner Wiser Bitchy Wise ass Cynical Sometimes Bitter Opinionated Sarcastic

For our first blog we’ve decided on a single story that we think best describes our sisterly dynamic.  This story takes place in Delphi, Greece.   After my sister completed her first year of college my sister, Big Sister, and I took a tour through Europe.   Our last stop was Greece, which looked surprisingly similar to the mountainous regions of southern California (where we originate from).  There were a lot of twisty mountainous roads which we toured on a giant commuter bus with a terrible Greek driver.  Having a history of severe motion sickness, I came prepared with motion sick prevention patches.  These things worked GREAT!  I literally wore the patch the entire way through Greece.  On a particularly twisty drive, I decided the patch was not working well enough and so I popped a couple Dramamine to prevent the “expulsion of stomach contents” I felt was imminent.  Upon arriving in Delphi the patch plus the extra Dramamine kicked in with a vengeance.  I appeared to my sister as though I had consumed an entire bottle of codeine.  Wandering aimlessly towards the ancient Greek ruins to begin our tour, my sister decided I was not going to make it through the tour.  My sister asked me if I wanted to return to the bus to sit and rest, to which I responded with an incoherent mumble.  My sister, taking this as an affirmative response, grasped my arm and began leading me back toward the bus.  The ruinous Greek landscape was somewhat hazardous so my sister was attempting to carefully guide me around dirty stony obstacles that were all around us.

Then it happened…

All of a sudden my sister ate shit, sliding down a small hill, running over the dirty stony obstacles.  I stared down in confused horror, not totally comprehending what the fuck was happening.  I lamely attempted to aid my sister to her feet at which time we both noticed how filthy and disgusting my sister was.  For those that have never been to Greece, do not fall in the dirt, it sticks like fucking glue.  She literally looked to be covered in dirty glue.  After analyzing the damage, my sister started making her way hastily towards a nearby restroom.  I slowly followed, still somewhat confused about what had just happened.  Reaching the bathroom, my sister began washing her hands when a very nice Greek cleaning lady handed her some paper towels.  My sister took them gratefully and began wiping the glue like dirt from her body and clothes.  The very nice Greek cleaning lady looked on in horror and began motioning to the floor trying to inform my sister that the paper towels were not for her, but to clean up the glue like dirt that she’d tracked in all over the floor.  My sister gave the very nice Greek cleaning lady a deathly look of pure hatred, at which point the cleaning lady turned and stormed out of the restroom while my sister continued her attempts to wash away the glue like dirt, getting as much on the floor as possible.

Now you know a little bit about my sister and me.  This blog will allow us to share with the world our strange, awkward, humorous, and sometimes painful stories of our lives.  Until next time…