My family is not a group of highly coordinated people; in fact we have all had our instances of falling or injuring ourselves doing stupid and usually simple activities (like walking) throughout our lives. Our older sister falls regularly, just walking around the city. Our older brother broke his foot once kicking our cousin in the ass. Our dad fell once, face first onto the pavement on a family vacation. Our mother broke her big toe gardening and of course I managed to crack my tailbone running around the house and slipping on a wet tile. Despite all our accidents, Panda was probably the most prone to injury when we were children. Out of all of us, she spent the most time in a cast or splint. Once she jumped in the pool on top of our older sister and ended up with a broken finger. Another time our sister decided it would be a good idea to put boogie boards atop a retaining wall in our backyard and pretend it was a pony. Being the older sister, she made Panda try it out first, it was after Panda ate shit falling off the wall and breaking her wrist that our sister decided that might not be the brightest idea. Another time Panda was trampled by our cousin playing with the neighbor kids and ended up with a fractured ankle. As a teenager she made a trip to the ER after running onto a softball field to warm up the pitcher prior to a game without a catcher’s mask, which resulted in a bleeding, broken nose. She’s prone to falling frequently as well. There is a bloody stain on the steps leading up to the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, DC where she ate shit running too fast down the stairs. If you read our first blog, you know about her headfirst slide through the dirt at Delphi, Greece. On that same trip we went swimming in a small lake in Switzerland, where she slipped ass first onto a block of concrete. We’re not sure the extent of the damage done during that fall, but I’d say it was rather significant as it bothered her through the rest of the trip.
Possibly the most amusing story of Panda getting injured is the story of her falling off the treadmill. While hanging out at a neighbor’s house with our cousin the two of them decided to try out the family’s treadmill; it would be her first treadmill experience. Not knowing you were supposed to hook the special safety cord to your clothing in the unlikely event that you fall off, she jumped up there and turned it on.
Our cousin, deciding it would be funny to speed it up as much as possible, cranked up the speed. Please keep in mind, Panda was a little on the chubby side as a young girl and not the “running” type. As our cousin continued cranking up the speed, Panda did what she could to keep up with the track, gripping the handles tightly.
It finally got to a point where she couldn’t keep up and her legs gave out beneath her. Afraid she’d be sucked in and wrapped around the track (like in the opening credits of The Jetson’s) she continued gripping the handles for dear life as the track kept going round and round, taking the skin off her knees and shins as it went. For a moment our cousin stood there, transfixed, but he quickly came to his senses and realized the horror of what was happening and he shut off treadmill.
Panda stood up rather unsteadily, breathing heavy, looking down at the damage the treadmill had caused. Bloody and winded, Panda hobbled home to clean herself up to the tune of our cousins hysterical laughing. The bleeding sores that resulted from her accident have since healed, but she will carry the emotional scars with her forever.
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